The Beginning of my O-keto-kie Journey

     Have you ever looked in the mirror and hated what you saw? Or when people out on the streets may sometimes mistake you for a pregnant woman? How about in high school when all of the cool, good-looking kids made fun of you for being overweight, even though maybe you were not really that big to begin with. But the crazy thing now, when you are all grown up, you look back on those school pictures and realize, you were beautiful. If you answered yes to any of these statements, I know your pain. But do not beat yourself up, because I am here to help.

      Back in high school, my weight averaged around 170 to 180. It really all depended on which sport was going on. I played volleyball in both years of junior high and all four of high school. I absolutely LOVED to play volleyball. Even with being a plus sized girl, it had this very empowering trait about it. For those of you who have played the sport, I hope you can relate to what I mean. It takes a good deal of conditioning. Lot's of leg and core strength. Once you really get the hang of things, everything becomes so fluid and you feel unstoppable. If it were not for volleyball, I would have probably been in the physical state that I am now. I was in shape, but on the thicker side. I wasn't skin and bone, I was rocking C-cups and had a butt that not even my momma gave me. And I could never forget about the juicy thighs that I had too. Looking back on me from where I am now, I cannot even begin to tell you how ashamed I was at the present "me". It truly goes to show you how much words from others can truly affect a person. Even my volleyball coach would ask me what my diet was, and not even I could deny the caving I would have to an occasional Twinkie. I was a carb eatin' fool. But at that time in my life, with physical education and sports to keep my exercise regulated, I could burn them right back off.

     So now jumping forward a couple years after high school, I managed to put on about sixty pounds. From having no exercise schedule and a crappy boyfriend who wouldn't let me be me, life was literally becoming weighed down. I have always eating the same, so like I said before, I am a carb eating fool. I love pasta, bread, sweets, and anything else that could be considered for homo sapiens hibernation. So, naturally, no exercise + carbs = obesity and depression. For a while, when I was reconnected with a high school sweetheart, I was driven to try out something called the "Military Diet". Now don't get me wrong, it did work for the time that I did it, but with it being such a repetitive diet to where you have basically the same foods to eat on a three-day schedule, it (to me) wore itself out quick. That is my problem a lot of the time when it comes to diets. I find something that starts to work and then I wear it out so quick that I fall off of the band wagon and gain all the weight back, plus some extra. But I had landed the man of my dreams, and lost about twenty pounds until calling it quits on that diet. But as we all say, life happens. You start working so much, even still having fun with the person you are with. You have your up's and down's because you are so self conscious about your weight that maybe your lover is losing interest because you are a bit bigger. On a separate note, at least now I know he loves me for me. After all of this time, he has stuck with me and my journey to become who I know I can be.
   
    So here we are. Almost seven years out of high school, and have gained one hundred pounds... as of two months ago anyway. Not going to lie, it burns in my soul to say that out loud. I hate that it is the truth. I went from being so self conscious in high school about being thicker than others, and yet I was beautiful. Now, I could cry myself to sleep while pining over my senior photos. But have no fear, if you are sitting in the same boat as me, there is a silver lining. A couple of girls that I work with had begun their own weight loss journey. In this wonderful process known as Keto. They broke it down for me, basically stating that you cut carbs and sugars out of your diet so that your body will then be in, what they call, Ketosis. Which basically means that, in this state, since your body is not taking in as many carbs to burn, it turns to the fat cells and begins to burn them instead. Hence, losing weight.
  
    It seemed like quite the miracle, seeing my co-workers transform in a matter of months. One of them told me she had lost a total of thirty pounds. However I am unsure about how long it took her. But in that matter of speaking, I have come to a great realization. It is not about how long it takes, it is about reaching your goal no matter what. So two months ago, I went through about a week of picking my own brain, digging up the motivation and determination to make a difference in my life. I thought about my future. Kids, marriage, and my overall health. How good could my memories end up being, if I couldn't even keep up with them. Then I thought of it in a way of what I call "self-blindness". Sometimes we do not see what we really look like. Sure we see our face in the mirror, but what we see may depend on how we feel. For example, you are feeling happy when you wake up in the morning. You got a good night sleep, had your morning coffee, now it's time to get ready for your day. You go to your closet, you think you are feeling good so you pick a tighter fitting shirt with some snug pants that make your butt look good. Now you have the shirt on and are headed over to the mirror to do your spin and check out how you look. Now, did you smile when you looked at yourself? Did you suck in that gut? Are you still smiling after you let it out? If it were me, my day would have went from feeling good, to now I just want to be comfy. Or, you proceeded with the outfit, you get to work and maybe someone is taking a photo. All of your co-workers gather around and you line up and take the photo. You suck it in and smile like you did in the mirror, and hold. You think you pulled it off. But then you see the photo and realize that maybe you didn't look as skinny as you thought you did, especially not next to everyone else. Self-blindness. Now I am not trying to beat down on your shoulders of which the world is already sitting. But you need to know that you are not alone. I have let my weight control me for the past five years. It controlled what I wore, what I ate, and even what I would do in my spare time. But PLEASE listen when I tell you, do NOT lose faith.

    At this point I knew something had to change. And so began my keto journey. I will be completely honest and tell you all, it was not easy at first. My boyfriend still eats whatever he wants and maintains a great physique and boy I can tell you that my cravings for whatever he put in his mouth, was some days as bad as when I was quitting smoking. I told myself, just like when I DID quit smoking, don't give up. I cannot stress this enough, but keep that goal in mind at all times. Even when life is rubbing it in your face that you are not there yet, don't give up. I started slow. Dipping my toe in the water you might say. I cut bread from my diet and pasta. I tried using the keto apps on my phone, but truth be told, I am not very fond (or memorable) about logging my food intake. So I have been carefully monitoring what I eat on a daily basis. So far, even though it is not much, I have lost 14 pounds in about a month and a half. It went slow for a couple days, but then I dropped 5 pounds. I hit a plateau and gained back one measly pound, but I stuck with it. And now I am where I am. Honestly, I feel great. Fourteen pounds does not seem like much, but this may help. Go to Walmart and head to the workout section. Now pick up a ten pound dumbbell and a three pounder. That's only thirteen pounds and it feels a bit heavy. (For those of us who don't lift every day). Every pound counts guys. It means being one more pound closer to your goal. It means having one less pound to carry. One less to break down your knees, your ankles, and your back. Every pound is a milestone. Before you know it, your goal is in the wheelhouse of being months away instead of years. I am here to show you how easy it truly can be if you KEEP YOUR GOAL IN MIND AT ALL TIMES. Do not forget why you are doing this. But most importantly, do it for you. You will make it. Because this is not only my journey, it's OURS.

The Faster You Go, The Shorter Life Could Be

    I was out on the road today, heading home from a training session for my job. It was just a good ol' ride, jamming out to music and enjoying the sun that finally decided to come out after a long chilly morning. Now the ride home was only about thirty to forty minutes long, and the area I live in is pretty hilly and has very curvy roads. Along the way back home a pickup hauling a backhoe pulled out in front of me. Naturally, it causes me to slow down. I was in no hurry, so to me it was no big deal. But of course there is always one person in line who is always in a rush. I look up in my rear view mirror and see a large dually dodge pickup peel over into the passing lane (which by the way was almost a no passing lane) and hauls ass passed the two vehicles behind me. All of the sudden the truck in front of me begins to slow down due to his turn off approaching. I begin to slow up, as do all of the other responsible drivers behind me, and the truck in front begins his turn. Mr. Speedy Gonzales in the left lane is then forced to slow down significantly fast, and almost runs into this guy. I slow down almost to a stop to avoid any situation that could have possibly happened in that moment. The person in the dodge truck then swerves over into the right lane, but is still going to fast to avoid a wreck if he stayed in the lane. So what does he do? He swerves into the shoulder of the road, which out here... that's not too big of a space. He was lucky enough that this shoulder didn't happen to have a cliff hugging up on it. Nevertheless, this guy ends up swinging his back end and whipping his tail end around before straightening out and speeding back up and heading out on his merry way.
     But wait... there's more... About ten miles out from my destination, in my rear view mirror, I see another person who is very eager to get where they were going. He was in a small dodge neon, and carelessly passed the truck behind me. As he got behind me there was a car coming in the left lane. He waited, oh so patiently, right up on my tailpipe until the car had passed. Once it did, he began his fast a furious pass. We were going up a blind hill, not very far from the top. And right when he was next to me, I see a car crowning over the hill. So he kicks it in gear and cuts me off just short of an accident and makes it back to the right lane. I have to say that he was damn lucky the he and the other driver weren't going to be having dinner with the almighty. Or i guess for him it would have been a little hotter. I gotta say, there is nothing like having two near death experiences within ten minutes.
     Now, I can honestly say that yes, there have been times where I was running late, or just felt a sense of urgency to get where I was going. But never in my life have I thought it necessary to race down a two lane highway, or ANY highway for that matter, to get where I needed to go. When I am on the road, it is not just me out there. There is a whole world. Filled with many lives that deserve to see tomorrow. Along that same road that I traveled on today, last year a school teacher lost their life because of someone who was in just too big of a hurry. The teacher didn't make it, but they did. Getting to where you need to go, is in no way, shape or form, more important than the life of another. Trust me, if you go the speed limit, you will still get where you need to go. You are just going to have to wait just like everyone else for the world to successfully invent teleportation. But until then, do the world a favor. Slow the hell down... And really it's not just a favor for the world, it is for yourself as well. Do you have a kid? How do you think they would feel if they heard you died in a car accident because you were driving too fast? Or how about the person you killed in the other car because of your carelessness? What about their family? Their children? Every human being is a special and important soul. There have been many situations in which awareness has been raised because of a loss from a car accident. But personally, I don't think it should take death for the world to wake up, and be safer. Don't be the one who takes lives, be the one who helps to save them.

What Happened To Youth

The other day I was sitting in a waiting room after completing my taxes, and through the door came a family with three children. I knew who they were from seeing them come through the bank from time to time. Their whole family is deaf and are a very sweet group of people. The eldest looked to be maybe seven or eight years old. The next was maybe a couple years younger while the littlest, he looked to be about two, just mastering how to walk. They were all giggly and having fun with their two stuffed animals and a small emoji pillow. I could not help but smile while watching them play. The two older girls were tossing the pillow back and forth having a great time while the little boy was exploring and occasionally playing peek-a-boo with me. It made me remember when I was a kid. Enjoying the little things and no matter what toy you had, you could find a way to make it into something extraordinary. Just as they were doing. I also observed how they communicated, of course by sign language I know, but the respect these children had for their parents was refreshing.

When I was younger, if I was in trouble, I was disciplined. There was no question if it was "abuse" or whatever people choose to make up these days. There is a huge difference between the two. If my mom were to even shoot me that look that said "If you don't stop now I'm going to beat your butt later". At that point, you stopped. That was the kind of connection this family had. And they were happy.

Not long later another family came in. They only had one son who had to be around nine or ten years old. There appointment was right away and while the parents went back the mom turning to her son and handed him a tablet. She told him "Here, don't play it too loud, and don't look at anything you shouldn't be watching." I had to shake my head. So right away we have two examples of today's youth. Kids who have been properly disciplined and another family who simply uses objects to get obedience from their kid. I am disappointed in how the world has become so dependant on technology. So this kid is sitting over there playing on the tablet while the two little girls are having a world of fun. The kid on the tablet looks up from time to time complimenting if one of them made a good catch or nice throw. Back in my day, a kid would have sat there until they finally got the courage to ask if they could play too. And really if I am being honest, it would not be about courage, it would be about the wanting to have fun too. I just wish the world could really take the time to reconnect. Not just as families, but as people all together in this world. There needs to be a lot less of social media, or TV watching, and just more social. Go out and see people. Make the most of what you do every day. It could really help change the world and the way we all connect with each other.